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Dahvie Vanity

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Pedophile

Dahvie Vanity (David Jesus Torres for everyone who doesn't want to feel like an ass-hat for calling a grown man "Dahvie"), is the lead singer for Blood On The Dance Floor, a "Gay Dance Band" (according to Jay Von Monroe). David started BOTDF when he realized that by dressing up as some sort of gothic-emo anime character and singing songs that mix childhood imagery and porn, he could probably pull a bit of underage ass. Little did he know that what he tried to pass off as music would strike a chord. Adolescent and pre-teen girls desperate to start their rebellious phase would flock to their shows. Davids statutory scheme had worked better than he had ever dared to dream. Not only would he have his pick of naive virgins who idolized him, he had control of an army of zealots who dubbed themselves the Slash Gash Terror Crew who would harass, bully, threaten and mob any disenting voice. However, David knew that to keep singing songs about ice cream, candy and rape would eventually get him unwanted attention from all those little girls parents. To give the appearance of reasonable doubt, BOTDF started their "Anti-Bullying Campaign". David sang about the horrors of bullying. "Pick on someone else but don't pick on me" one of them wisely said and rightfully so. As long as the bully isn't picking on you, bullying isn't a problem, right? Another song heroically tells the victims of bullying to "Believe In Me". Saint Dahvie will protect you from all those bullies, all you need to do is believe in him and he'll taking a break from touring and trying to convince last night's conquest to not tell the authorities about what happened and come save you.


Every hero has challenges to face, and David Torres is no different. For some reason, some of the girls that he had been kind enough to introduce to womanhood now had the audacity to complain about it! Despite the best efforts of the SGTC, some of them just would not be silenced and sadly, nasty rumors began to surface. During a tour in which the ungrateful female lead singer of the opening act refused to sleep with Dahvie (I know, HOW DARE SHE?!), tensions evetually built up to a head and reluctantly and with a heavy heart, Dahvie asked them to leave for the sake of the fans. The female lead singer, obviously furious and in a particularly vindictive mood, decided to erroneously tell people that Dahvie wasn't the perfection in flesh that we had all come to believe. That he mistreats women (if you can call 10-16 year old girls that) and that he bullies people who disagree with him. Unfortunately, there were some who believed this vicious lie. How could the man who brings joy to all those young girls night after night think him to be anything less than a gift from some divine being? Couldn't these people realise that everytime Dahvie pulled his pants down on stage, told pre-tenn girls that he wanted to "cum on their faces" and placed their hands on his crotch, that he was actually being the friend & hero that all those lost souls needed? Eventually, even an acquaintance applauded the female singer for her words. Hurt for this betrayel, Dahvie was forced to call this girl out from on stage and though it broke his heart to do so, he called her a slut and hoped that she died a slow and painful death. To the uninformed observer, this may appear as contrdictory to BOTDF's stance on bullying, but it isn't. You just don't know what you're talking about. And with that Dahvie and BOTDF continued their adventures, diddling little girls and totally saving lives and inspiring people with songs like "S My D" & "Scream For My Ice Cream". God bless you Dahvie Vanity.


Blood On The Dance Floor is the worst band ever. 

Garrett is a lying, stealing whore.

Man, this shit is EPIC...

Okay this is a fan who is editing (will probably get deleted) but who cares? I know not everyone likes botdf but if you really didn't like them why would you waste all your time hating on them? I mean yeah he got charged with rape ONE FUCKING TIME! Like 3-4 years ago! Get the fuck over it he's not a pedophile over one stupid blame and a couple of songs! I mean have you listened to their latest music? They are caring now not some crazied teens anymore their grown men who want to have fun what so fun about growing up? And he losted his girlfriend give him a break! But you know that's your opinion I respect it. (But seriously what am I doing?)

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